Being Bewitched

I grew up watching Bewitched, like so many others did. I remember thinking Darren was such a dick for treating his wife that way. Just from talking to others through the years about the show I know I'm not the only one that felt that way. But we do need to remember that it was a different time when that show was aired. A time when women weren't equal and witchcraft was even less acceptable than it is today. Still, I struggle with the idea that Darren tried so hard to force Samantha to be someone she wasn't.

But the truth is, for as much as I don't understand it, I went and started playing the role of suppressed witch anyways... I have an incredibly wonderful husband. He's kind and gentle, giving and hard working. He loves his kids and I more than he loves himself, and he would work non-stop if it meant we could have the things we want. And although he doesn't agree with many of the things I stand for, he usually backs me up, at least in public - although he may have a few things to say in private from time to time...  AND, for as wonderful as he is, he's afraid of witches, magick and even his own gifts...

Yes, that's right, I married a Christian muggle who would dance for joy if I somehow forgot my path... Unlike Darren he doesn't in any way try to force me to change who I am, and he did know who and what I was long before we got married - I didn't spring it on him like Samantha did. But he's no less uncomfortable knowing that his wife is dancing naked in the moonlight than Darren was when he discovered his mother-in-law had swished her hand and alters life as he knows it - AGAIN!

So, needless to say, it keeps things interesting. And it takes some bending, on both parts. My husband does his best to keep his mouth shut and I do my best to keep it out of his line of site. If you're living with a muggle like I am, one who is less than accepting, you know what I'm talking about. For those who are living with someone who is more Darren like, then here are MY suggestions on co-existing...
  • Be open and honest with your partner. Don't think that hiding things, or keeping secrets is going to make issues disappear, if anything, it will only make things worse. 
  • Don't try and force your beliefs on your partner. Their beliefs may counter yours but they are still entitled to their beliefs. It's important to remember that many people fear witches and Pagans because they don't understand us, and that changing those beliefs can take time.
  • Agree to boundaries. If your partner is of a different faith, the idea of having an alter in every room or of having a drum circle in your living room every full moon may be more than they can handle. But, they may be more willing to agreeing to watch the children while you meet with your coven. 
  • Do your best to keep your home a neutral ground. No huge pentacles on the wall, and no chanting over dinner... 
  • Take time! My husband and I have been married for 6 years, and in that time we have come to respect one another's beliefs and even find common grounds on many occasions. But it's taken time for us to get this far. And it's taken love... 
  • Above all else, remember that you are more than a witch, and more than a Pagan. And that your partner loves you for all the other parts, they will learn to love the witch part, as long as you keep reminding them why they fell in love with the rest of you in the first place!
Bewitched Forever!
Blessed Be!

6 comments:

  1. I used to love Bewitched too! I think my hubs is the opposite of yours. He's not an Atheist but has no clue where he falls in or what he believes. I did ask him once if he wanted to join me on my journey and he gave me this "look" so I didn't ask again! :) I respect his wishes and ways, now to get him adjusted to mine :). Love the post! Have a blessed day!

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  2. I don't think I could ever marry a man that didn't like my beliefs. But I'm glad you found a way to coexist.

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  3. I agree with SWC, it would be difficult, especially since I'm such a headstrong person. That's one of the things that I let people know when I was dating them. "hey, I'm a Witch; if you're not comfortable, let me know now." Luckily, a Heathen found me. However, he's strongly against Christianity....makes it difficult with our friends, especially my BFF who's a proud Irish Catholic. Things between us are great...but same can't be said for them. Well wishes to you and your family. Blessings. ~)O(~

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  4. My husband knew who and what I was from well before we ever really "dated" but neither of us saw it as an obstacle large enough to stop us from being together...

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  5. I loved Bewitched... always wished I could wiggle my nose and make things happen, especially housework LOL oh the trouble Darren would find himself in with his mother-in-law LMAO and that crazy Dr. Bombay.... ah, the memories! I wonder if they have re-runs on Netflix?

    Anyhoo... glad your christian hubby is an exception and can accept your path even if he doesn't agree with it... love will find a way. Great post :)

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  6. Bewitched was one of my favorite shows as a kid because what Samantha's being a witch was just a bit naughty and taboo in the day. The show was silly fun, and it was the first places in the media where a witch was not shown as a warty hag. I had a Samantha doll as a little girl. She came dressed in a red velvet witch costume with a broom- and she was much prettier than the ordinary Barbie. I wish I still had her...

    As an interfaith minister, I deal with "mixed" marriages all the time. Respect and boundaries seem to be the key to happiness. Both of you need to go into the marriage with eyes wide open in all areas, and that particularly goes for religion, because eventually there might be children. Many people have taken the stance of letting the child decide about their personally spirituality- it's good to be open on this subject. But what to do in the mean time? That's something only you and your husband can answer after a period of serious discernment and examination. A blend of traditions can be possible if it's done in a loving, respectful manner. Kudos to you for finding a positive "fit" between you and your husband.

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