30 Days of Truth: Day Four

Something you have to forgive someone for...

Again, I tend to be the type that forgives rather than not. But to be honest I still have a lot of anger around the way I was raised. My mother made what I feel were LOTS of mistakes raising us and in many ways it ruined the relationship I wish I could have with her. I understand why she made the choices she made, but I'm not sure that makes it easier...

The one thing I don't think I have ever been able to get past, and the major thing I have yet to forgive her for is her third husband. He was a horrible man! Angry, abusive - to her and me - and SUPER controlling! He was just an ass! I asked her not to marry him, not even to bring him around. But she didn't listen!

Once they were married he thought everything in our house - and it was our house, not his - was his domain and therefore his to control, tear down and destroy! He would search my room, he physically and emotionally abused me and she would take his side. He made a point never to lay a hand on me when she was home, and he was always smart enough not to leave marks - on me or her. But when I would say something to her, she would, and still does, say it didn't happen and insist I made it up.

Thankfully they were married for just a short time and then he was out of our lives. 

I do my best to forgive others. I know that carrying that anger only hurts me, not them. But I'm not sure this is something I can forgive. Or at least not something I can forgive until she is willing to admit that she screwed up.

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