30 Days of Truth: Day Nine

Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted...

When I was a young girl my mother made friends with some of the other parents from the kids at school. One of them had a son my age, his name is Chris. When we were just six, Chris asked me to marry him, and I said yes. He kissed me! And I thought I was in love.

When I was 16, he told me he loved me, and I was in love again! We had been nothing but friends for the last decade and on some level had always loved one another. So being together only made sense. But my mother hated him. She thought he was the "bad kid." And she wasn't entirely wrong. But because of her issues, we broke it off, knowing we could be together later.

And we were. When I turned 18 I was dating a kid named Ken. He was only 14 at the time, but I have never cared for numbers. He was only 3 years behind me in school and when I was 14 I had dated people 18, 19 and in their early 20s. So I didn't see an issue. Anyways, I moved out of my mother's house and in with Ken when I turned 18. But Chris was always there. And once I was out of my mother's house, we were free to be together. So we were.

I got to the point where I had my own apt. but I never staid there. I was either staying at Ken's or at Chris'. They both knew about each other but weren't all that worried about it. We were all pretty open... I loved Chris, part of me always will. But one night we got in a fight and I left. Ken asked me to marry him right after that, and I said Yes. Partly because I was angry with Chris because he hadn't.

He never forgave me for that. And about a month later I showed up at his apartment, and he had moved... No forwarding address, no nothing. I haven't seen him since. I've looked for him. But his friends will tell me nothing! And all these years later, I feel kinda dumb looking for him, not knowing if he would even want to see me. Plus, being I'm married and wouldn't actually be looking for anything beyond a friend at this point, I wonder if it would even be worth it to find him now...

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